Modern Family

I recently started watching Modern Family and in one boring weekend I watched an entire season. The most recent episode I watched was centered around the idea of the ‘Dreamer’ and the ‘Realist’.

It all began when Jay, the father disagreeing with his new wife on how to give constructive criticism to his stepson. Jay sees criticism as a way to prepare a child for the real world while his wife Gloria coddles and praises her son to think he is the best at everything.  This is just another funny situation where the personalities of these two characters clashing but I saw it as something more.

In my first post I discussed the Chinese mother versus the Western mother. The Chinese mother represents Jay’s philosophy and the Western mother is Gloria in Amy Chua’s terms. It was interesting to see the situation play out through the show. Manny, the son, has been nurtured all his life, he took his mother’s words to heart and did not understand why people did not have the same opinions as his mother. 

The episode was great because Claire and Mitchell, Jay's older children, demonstrated the same characteristics and implemented them on their own children and partners. I think my parents were definitely Jay and I think I will also possess the same ideals when I have my children. I have always been realistic, I hate thinking about the what ifs, its just something I never did. Maybe I learned to be a 'realist' from my upbringing.


What are you? A realist or a dreamer?

The awkward question

“So…Where are you from?”

“Uh…where do I begin…?”

Don’t ask me where I am from. 

Like many international students, I have a very hard time answering that question. I guess the main problem is, what exactly does it mean when someone asks you where you’re from. Another confusing thing about this question to me is often times there isn’t just one answer. Whether you want to refer to where I live, where I was born or the culture of my parents, only one answer rarely reflects who I truly am. 

As an international student I am influenced by many cultures, I don’t want to choose one place in particular. So who am I?


I am Taiwanese, born in Los Angeles but I grew up in Thailand.

What a mouthful! Nowadays I just stick with a simple “I grew up in Bangkok, Thailand”. But this often leads to confusion that I am Thai (which I am not) and why I am “so fluent in English”. Sigh*.


Perhaps asking "Where I am from" translates to "Where I call home"...With so many cultures and countries that I relate to, I can't pick just one place. I'm kind of suffering from an identity crisis and a lack of sense of belonging. I can't call the US home, I've never lived there longer than 3 years. I can't call Thailand my home, I barely know the culture nor do I speak the language fluently. And I can't call Taiwan my home either. I suppose international students like myself have a hard time answering "Where are you from" because we identify ourselves with so many countries but none at the same time. We can't choose one without feeling like we've cheated on other parts of our identity. We deal with the obnoxious close-minded assumptions that we don't speak English, and after some explaining I get the surprised but impressed look paired with "Oh, thats so fascinating!". What am I? A new animal hybrid discovered by German Scientists? Seriously.


So to sum it up why I hate answering this question is because in my own head, I begin to question my own identity. And jokes about my real gender (thanks to The Hangover II and their portrayal of transgender people) doesn't help really either. 

Tiger Moms and the Internet

Asian parents have always been stereotypically labeled as strict. I and along with my other Asian friends can vouch for that. But it has never really been addressed until Amy Chua’s book and her online article on the WSJ. Her article spread through the interwebz like wildfire among the Asian community.

Love it or Hate it the crazy mother we were all raised by finally has a name, ‘Tiger Mother’. This inspired the internet meme called ‘Tiger Mom says’ and the tiger dad version, ‘High Expectations Father’.

Like the popular internet memes, Tiger mom says features funny, stereotypical but exaggerated phrases centered around a stern looking Asian lady and an old Asian man for High Expectations father.

Tiger Mom says is the mother we all have. She expects way too much from you, nothing is ever good enough and has a hard time with communicating her emotions with you or anyone. Harsh but true. No one will understand the Tiger mother like a child raised by one. Asian kids can read these, laugh, agree with them and think of their own moms.

Not a lot of Asians are represented in mainstream media. There are thousands of Asian supporting characters in the biggest movies but rarely are they the main character. So the internet provides a place, a community for Asians to feel like a part of them is represented. Asian stereotypes are poked fun at by Asians, no one is offending anyone which makes the internet a great place for us to find out that we are not the only ones with crazy Asian parents.

On a side note, though there are plenty of strict parents out there that are not Asian. There’s something about Tiger mothers that make them so distinct. I think its because she still has the values and way of thinking from her motherland, she’s still kind of a Fob. An adorable fob though, one that we can’t help but laugh at and love. Thus one of my favorite sites for awhile, mymomisafob.com embodies just that. The title says it all. Its full of funny submissions by kids with fobby mothers. It highlights their funny struggles with the English language and the oh so valuable but sometimes ridiculous life lessons.

One of my favorite submissions:

“Be sure to wear lots of underwear, so if you get rape it’ll take them longer and you can escape.”

Thanks for the great advice fobby moms of the world.