The idea behind this blog

I never contemplated issues on parenting. It felt like it was something to think about when you actually have a child at hand to parent. But after stumbling onto an excerpt titled “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior” from Amy Chua’s “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” on the Wall Street Journal, I began to think about how I would raise my own children in the future and reflect back on how I was raised by my own Mother. This article discusses parenting techniques of ‘Western mothers’ and ‘Chinese mothers’ (both used loosely as to generalize the two opposing ways of parenting) and recounts Chua’s own experience with raising her children. Chua describes Western mothers as accommodating to their child’s individuality while Chinese mothers believe protecting their children is preparing them for reality and their future.

To go into more detail, Chua’s own parenting ways include forbidding her daughters to do social activities but to always engage in academics. She threatened never begged, forced never asked and taunted never praised her children to do what she thought would make them into successful human beings. She called her daughters ‘garbage’ when they disrespected her, and in contrast a Western mother would try to find blame externally rather than in her children. And in the end Western children have self-esteem issues when they cannot take criticisms in the real world because they were never brought up that way while Chinese children grow a thicker skin.

Now recounting my own upbringing, I was raised by very traditional Chinese parents but attended an International school with people like myself and friends from more laid back families similar to the Western families Chua describes in the article. I could not help but apply her points to my own parents and my friend’s parents and compare myself to my friends. And what kind of people we have become today because of the way we were raised.

My mother was an odd combination of both mothers. I received the occasional smack or pinch here and there, I played both the Violin and the Piano and I was taught the importance of education and academic success. But at the same time I was also praised and was allowed to pursue any field of study in my future as long as I was good at it. I learned to be disciplined and obedient but at the same time confident in myself and persevered in everything I did. While a friend of mine on the other hand had a mother who nurtured and solved her problems for her every step of the way. Growing up with my friend, I watched her suffer from self-esteem issues, eating disorders, and lack of motivation to work for something up until this day. Like Chua mentions in the article, Western mothers tend to ‘tip toe around’ issues regarding their children so they never learn to handle criticism in the real world. I watched as my friend’s mother treated her like a princess at home but any little fault placed on her in school often led to her in tears.

My brother and I enjoy discussing parenting with implications of culture. He always stressed that when he had children, he would praise them for ‘working hard’ but never for ‘being smart’. His philosophy was if his children failed at doing something, they could blame themselves for not working hard enough and begin to fix it next time. While if they were told they were ‘smart’ when they succeeded, failing would only prompt them to think they were not smart and since being smart was a quality more difficult to attain, they may give up. I thought about this concept long and hard and decided that I agreed with it completely. Perhaps this is what these Chinese mothers are doing with their children therefore they succeed in a way other children could not. Perhaps Chinese people are not as smart as the stereotype suggests but that they are more hard working and willing to do what it takes to succeed.


I am not surprised Amy Chua did not mention a word on hitting her children, perhaps she doesn't but if she does and publicizes it, it would get ugly, I mean legally. Its an interesting look at how society and law is created amongst countries. I am sure there are absolutely no rules on hitting children in Asia.


What do you guys think about Amy Chua's philosophy? How were you raised by your own mother? Any comments on hitting/physical punishment?
I myself would use hitting as a way of discipline but like many things, its only good in moderation. But this is a topic saved for another day.